There’s a self whenever I look in the mirror

Sounds obvious, I know

But it’s a different self each time

All wrapped within this body of mine

Looking in the mirror tells a thousand little stories

Gives that feeling where my mind gets dense

Reminding me of the years that trudged before

The years that put dense bags under my eyes

and tears of joy within them

I stare at those same eyes

That were there in all those years.

Blink once

back to me staring at computer screens

Three years prior

Blanket draped over my shoulders

Melted into my pajamas

Harmonica in my mouth

Scrambling around for an inch of closure

Wondering if the future is gonna groove like the past

Or if it’ll breakdance and give my future self

something to learn

Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror

Thinking about breakdancing.

Blink twice

over to me drifting

One year after

Sitting in a nearby forest

Melting in the dense autumn leaves

Stapled in a second hand pair of Converse

Stuck in my head

The self that’s learned from computer screens

But doesn’t know what any of the words mean

On my way back home, I put my self in the front seat

and look in the rearview mirror

To remind myself that those eyes are still human.

Blink thrice

to a self on the street

Two months ago

Cozy jacket and flower necklace outline my

silhouette

They’re remnants of other selves I’ve bumped into along the way

I stop by a mirror on the side

while on the way to a show

that I hoped would tell me more

about the eyes I see in the mirror

That see a self that’s still alive

Where the bags have only gotten longer

And the tears of joy have only grown stronger.

Every time I look in the mirror

a thousand little bits of me

collage into a homemade portrait of who I am

Maybe those selves have died

Maybe they never left

Maybe I’m just a narcissist in denial

Oh well

More short stories for me.